A Big Persuasion Secret You Can Learn From Hanging Out With Kids

By: Dave Dee on: July 24th, 2014 4 Comments

One of my favorite traditions is spending one on one time individually with each of my kids.

Whether it’s taking my son to a major league baseball game or taking my daughter to the theater to watch a Broadway show, I love spending time alone with each of them and being truly present when we are together.

Years ago, it wasn’t that way. I still spent one on one time with each of my kids, but not really “be with them” because I was worried about money or where my next client was coming from. I spent more time focused on worrying than on what was really important.

Now that I have systems in place that work like clockwork to attract my ideal clients, my life and income are different.

More importantly, my relationship with my children is better and even more rewarding since I now focus on them entirely during this special time with them.

There is actually a great sales and persuasion secret hidden in my story.

The key here is in the outcome—that our relationship is more rewarding.

Not only do good things happen when I’m with my children, but I find that because of this sales and persusasion secret, good stuff happens everywhere I go. For example, I’ll go to a restaurant and get a free dessert. Or I’ll go the theater and my seats will be upgraded.

How does this happen? Well, whether I’m hanging with my kids or out getting a steak at my favorite restaurant, I am very friendly, I am present, I ask questions AND I bring people into my reality. This is cool stuff so let me explain each piece of the puzzle so that you can use these techniques to make your customer relationships more rewarding.

1)      Be fully present: As I mentioned earlier, I used to not be fully present when I was spending this special one on one time with each of my kids. I was too distracted by worry.

Now, I really listen to people and am truly interested in what they have to say (whether it’s my son or a client.) When I speak to clients, I block everything else out and focus on just them.

Most people are never present. They are too busy thinking about what they are going to say or worse, their mind is completely somewhere else. People can feel when you are really listening to them and when you are pretending to listen to them.

2)      Be friendly: Not that I would be unfriendly with my kids, but when I was worried about money and my business, I could be a bit cranky at times. Smile and look people in the eyes. I mean REALLY look into the eyes of your prospects and customers. Also, project positive and fun energy. You know the guy or gal that is always positive and the life of the party—the one that everyone wants to be around? Be THAT person.

3)      Ask questions. When I’m with my kids, I ask questions that help me get to know a ton about their dreams, goals and desires.

The cornerstone of sales is asking questions. (Tweet this!) Instead of using traditional, old-fashioned sales training questions which are self-serving and highly manipulative, ask questions that are designed to learn about what your prospect wants, needs and desires on a deep level.

4)      Bring people into your reality.  After I ask questions to my kids and they open up about what is going on in their lives, I open myself up to them. For example, I might tell a story about a challenging situation I was in when working with a client or tell them an embarrassing story about something that happened to me when I was their age.  By opening myself up and sharing personal things, they not only are brought into my reality, but they feel more comfortable with opening up to me.

When talking to a prospect or customer, you can do the same thing. For instance, a dentist might tell a story about when he had to have one of his own teeth repaired or personal trainer might tell a story about being overweight and how lifting weights changed his life. When you can bring people into your own reality and share your own vulnerability, people will connect with you more.

It’s important to note that when I’m with my kids or in any situation where I’m at a restaurant, theater, etc. I’m NOT looking to get anything. I’m not trying to manipulate my kids or get people to give me free stuff.

Good stuff just happens as result of what I do. As I’ve said before, the difference between manipulation and persuasion is intent.

My intent in all of these cases was simply to have fun, make people laugh and feel good. In a selling situation your intent should be NOT to just sell your product or service at all costs, but rather to find a solution to your prospects problems and to fulfill their wants needs and desires. This will result is MORE SALES than if you focus on just selling your product.

HUGE: You want to be externally focused NOT internally focused when selling.

Re-read the four points above and you will see they are all externally focused, focused on my kids or the people I was communicating with.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this post. Comment below.

P.S.– Get “The 10 Rules to Transforming Your Small Business into an Infinitely More Powerful Direct Response Marketing Business” for FREE. Click here to claim your customer-getting, sales-boosting tactics.

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    Dave Dee is one of Dan Kennedy's most successful students. Dave saw Dan speak over 16 years ago at one of the Peter Lowe Success Events when he was a struggling magician. He bought Magnetic Marketing and as you will hear when he tells you his story, his life changed in less than 90 days. Dave became a very serious student of Dan's by attending my seminars, joining his coaching group and most of all from implementing what he learned. Dave has become a top flight mentor and expert and is the GKIC Chief Marketing Officer. For more money-making marketing tips, tactics and strategies, go to www.GKIC.com

    4 Responses

    1. Nice piece. Thank you.

      Our goal, throughout the transaction, with everyone we encounter (client, agent, atty, banker, inspector, contractor, water reader meter reader, etc) is to make them feel good. Every. Single. Time.

      When they feel good, we feel good and good things happen.

    2. Szilard says:

      Dave it is surely a helpful insight and everything surely works with the customers,about children i am not so positive.She opens up only when she thinks..

    3. ALI says:

      The power of “asking right question on the right time” is one of the most important qualities that only great leaders have . Ability to ask good question from yourself also can save millions of $ or months of your life.

    4. hi Dave, really good article. You’re so right, a friendly and enthusiastic personality combined with taking a genuine interest in others by asking relevant questions is a killer combination.

      What you say about opening up to others is a great way to encourage them to do the same back. As a personal trainer in London UK, I know how important this is.

      I look forward to more of your articles.

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